paranoid?

another sem, another batch of classmates--or kind of. there're only a few that will be added to our section, and even though they are just a handful, i'm still worried about what might happen this second semester.

i seem childish and foolish but if you happen to know these people, you will understand why i'm getting so hyped up over something like this one.

they aren't actually popular, they aren't even close to being like those kind of people, but they surely have the kind of attitude that just....repels people? :)or maybe just people like me. either way, i'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of having them with our class for a whole semester. based from experience, they are the type that doesn't really give a damn to other people and i don't know if they do it on purpose but they sure seem rude when others are talking. they haven't done it to me--yet--and i sure hope that they won't because i sure as hell won't let them get away with it.

so should i get worried? or am i just getting paranoid over something so petty?

Would you stand by the sidelines?

It is no secret that teenagers today are highly prone into committing suicide. Heck, its even an "in" thing in most circles, and if you have numerous scars of slashes gracing your wrists as though you've been etching on your skin your own bracelet design, you're going to be regarded as one of the cool kids. One who have guts, so to speak. Ha! Oh please.
isn't it disturbing that kids nowadays get a kick from hurting themselves? isn't it disturbing that adolescents--well, most of us, I think--believe this is the only way for them to get people's attention and actually be able to feel they are alive? its not only disturbing but its also pathetic. really, it is. You're actually not cool when you've done something like this; it just shows how weak and helpless you feel because you thought you can't change your life for the better, and you can't even put some semblance of control over what is happening to you. Which is why you turn on yourself and inflict some pain on your being. tsk tsk. Oh, poor, unfortunate souls....
the sad part about this is that when adults find out that you're harassing yourself, they immediately name you as a kid who needs 'serious mental treatment' and whisks you away to some shrink who just fills your head with some psychobabble. Not that I have experienced this yet but I have heard a lot of these through my mom. But anyway, instead of helping you out by being there for you, it seems as though they are ostracizing you more. You don't need other people to analyze your actions and intentions for doing that! You need the people around you to understand you and listen to you and to devote some of their time for you. Simply stated, you are just in great need of being loved. Yes, shiver and choke and gag and barf and roll your eyes and deny all you want, but its what every person needs. Not just superficial kind of love but one that you know would stand the 'test of time'. And how would you know what kind of love you have? Beats me, but I think you'll just know it when you have it. You'll feel it in your bones naman e. lets just hope that your bones aren't up to kidding you.
so what if you have a friend who is into doing this kind of thing? slashing their wrists, etc., stuff that would make other people cringe and wonder what is it they have found amusing in playing sculptor using their skin. Well, frankly, I don't really know. I mean, people have different attitudes regarding this matter. Some open up when you approach them while others build a shell around them when you talk to them about this. maybe the best you--WE can do is to be there for them. as in literally. its the best we can do, not to mention the most common, too, but its what we all forget most of the time.
so when you know somebody who has developed some sort of obsession over this kind of thing, would you still stay by the sidelines?

Gloria Gate

read it people. its worth some of your time.

wahahaha, bealits! bayaran mo 'ko dito! publicity din 'to ng blog mo! :)hahahaha, joke, joke lang! pero really, people, read it. its good. :)

Culture Shock or Peer Pressure pt.2?

now that i'm in college, its almost, almost a requirement of some sort that you should have a crush or boyfriend or boy friend or fiance or......whatever the hell you want to call it. and truthfully, its really annoying and disturbing my peace of mind. just like what one of my blockmates told me, if you don't have one of those things above, you are....antisocial? abnormal? pathetic? well, choose one or give another adjective. i've never been one who let other people and their comments get to me because, hey, i am my own person. i do not need other people dictating to me what is the norm and the status quo. but that certain comment has stuck to my brain like mighty bond and i can't get it out of my system. and the fact that almost all the people around me are fluttering around saying, "Shit, ang guwapo!" or "Uy, ang cute o!" doesn't make matters better. quite exactly the opposite, on the contrary. i'm getting tired of staring at a cellphone screen, looking at a picture of a guy whose name i'm forgetting once i take my eyes off his pic, while my friend squeals in delight and expects me to say "Oo nga! ibang klase!" ibang klase ung nasa likod niya o!


cynical? very.


but still.......is college really like this? or am i being subjected to another one of those culture shocks?