The Love Doctor?

I'm pretty sure there are several people out there who wonder why is it that everybody have love problems while they don't. Its not as if I don't have any problems in my life right now, but when it comes to this certain aspect, it seems as though I don't have anything to say--or complain or agonize over.
Its actually pretty funny for me, really. I mean, people ask me what they should do if ever the love-of-their-life (or maybe just like-of-their-life) suddenly gives them the cold shoulder. I don't know if they notice this but I actually tell them the same thing each and every time. I just paraphrase it so that it'll look like I have a brand new idea to share with them. But what's really funny is when I tell them all the bad things of what might really happen afterwards and then they start believing all the things I have told them! They'll punch and scowl and glare at me first of course, since I've just voiced out their "greatest fear", but after that, they agonize all the more, start crying if ever the need arises, sulk and sit in the shadows all the day and just stare into space as if they've just lost the very meaning of their life (which might actually be the case for them at the moment). Not only that, but they'll start thinking that my suggestion of what may happen is a known fact that is already set in gold.
See how 'powerful' I am?
Its very easy to plant doubts in a broken--no, lets say battered--heart. You start saying the bad things and they'll immediately disregard the good things that made them enter the relationship in the first place. You'll say that their girlfriend/boyfriend is such a pain in the rear for actually hurting them, and they'll forget the person they 'fell in love' with whom they've been willing to protect and keep no matter what right from the start.
I'm no expert in this kind of matter. It takes a lot of experience for you to be credible in this field, and it that aspect, I must say I'm a complete amateur. All I ever had anyway was crushes that just never last. But it doesn't mean that I'm asking for something greater than that. Well, maybe I do sometimes, but when I really think about it, I realize I don't really want to have one. Maybe its out of envy that's why I also want to have a crush-of-my-life, but other than that, I don't really think I'm looking for that someone out of love.
Maybe the reason why people approach me when they have problems is because I'm sympathetic. I'm not an advice machine since I often give the crappiest ones that never really work and I'm not definitely compassionate since I don't really approach that person's girlfriend/boyfriend/crush and beat the hell out of them for hurting my friend. I'm completely unreliable when it comes to those two. But when you want a nice, long and logical conversation regarding your relationship, that's where I come in. I don't know why I try to fuse logic with something that is completely different from it, but I do it all the time. Sometimes its because it just sounds right coming from a reasonable explanation and sometimes I just want to be plain cynical.
Either way, its really funny to feel like a 'Love Doctor'. But would it still be funny when I'm the one I'm diagnosing?